Father!!!

There was a silence.
Then she shouted at him.
She shouted for her mistake.
She knew she was wrong.
Still she did not stop, her words piercing his heart like a knife.
She hurt him like no one ever did.
The next day when she dashed her leg in a door, he came running hearing her agony.
His eyes were wet.
Holding her legs he asked "Does that hurt?".
She just repeated the question.
He smiled.
"No longer"
"Father!!!"

   

From: You - To: You

Hey. Hello. Can you hear me? I am talking to you. Yes, absolutely to you.

Don’t hesitate. You should listen now. I have something to say to you, only to you.

You are the best I have ever been with. You know that I love you. Yes, I do. Wherever you are, whatever you become, I will love you. I am the happiest person when you win.

When you work, I work with you. When you are so engrossed in your book I remain silent grasping the emotions from them, redefining my feelings. When you have fun with your friends, I laugh with you, making you feel ecstatic. When you feel loved, it’s me who makes you lovable. If they could see me inside you, I am sure they will stay with you till the end of the world.

You do not know my presence unless you suffer. I know you do not mean to do this, there are no intentions. But, sometimes I need attention: undivided, uninterrupted. Especially, when I get hurt, when I am betrayed, when I fail, I need you.

I am not pleading. I am ordering. Am I sounding a little authoritative? If you feel so, I have a secret to tell you. After unraveling the secret you will not find me this way. 

But wait. I have other things to say to you, at the first place.

When these things happen, you have to talk to me immediately, because when I get hurt I show myself through tears or anger. I might reduce everything around you to nothing. I might lose the confidence on you and on love. That would be so dangerous than the actual betrayals and failures.

So, I need you to back me up. I need you to illustrate me the importance of composing myself again. After all the mishaps, when I come up from the scrap with your help, I will not be the same. I will never forget the lessons from the pains. I will be more careful.

And I promise you that I will be better.

I will have scars, but I will look even more beautiful. I will get the poise to fight anything. I will love you even more.

I don’t promise to be perfect. But, I will know how to heal myself and love again. So, you have the permission to get me hurt several times-after all they would shape me: but never for a second time, for the same reason. Just give me this vow and I will take you to heights you have never imagined. Having made you listen this long…

To the secret now!!!

Read the title!!!

So I believed my heart!!!

As my life began, all I believed was this...

I am the best in everything I do.
I am the love the world is searching.
I am the peace all the war torn countries are trying to seek.
I am the best friend anyone would ever dream to have.
I am the person born to remove the people from all the sufferings.
I am the happiness.

So believed my heart.

Until one day, when two demons  jumped from hell and engulfed me, filling my everything with self pity, my believes changed…

I am the shattered glass that would never come together.
I am the death the ailing person in the ICU of any hospital is begging.
I am the failure the human kind have ever witnessed.
I am the darkest secret anyone would ever dare to talk about.
I am not worth adding an extra burden to the world.
I should leave this world this moment and that pain would be less than this suffering- living.
There were thoughts that destroyed my confidence. There were tears for unknown reasons. There were fears of everything. 

      And one day when I was sitting in the balcony, I heard my heart weeping to        speak to me. How did I forget that I had one?  Inside me, my heart shouted, do you really know what are you thinking? Yes, I said.“No. You do not know. You are not thinking but over thinking. You are not under your conscience now and  I am not allowing you to do anything wrong. Not in this state of mind”, my heart insisted. It showed me the beauty of the world which I have seen once, when I had faith. I saw it with the same eyes that now      has become dark as the night. It showed me the love I have created all around.    It took me to the days where I smiled with it. The same reasons were there, only    that I forgot to feel them.   Now the darkness faded and I am back!!!

So, today I live.

In a bid to find my undone work. The reason for what I was brought down from the heaven. To finish it with all my heart. I believe me. So does my heart.

Were you wondering who the two demons were?

Them being anxiety and depression: They run now, towards another haven, discovering I have no place to offer. They might come back. But I will fight. Till all the energy inside me endures. I have the power inside, I believe. 

To all the souls listening…

These demons will show you thousand reasons to fall from where you are. Your heart will find a single reason to live. Follow your heart. Believe in it, the same way it believed in you when you smiled. That is where your heart wins, bringing you back to the world you forgot. 

The greatest strength to back you up when you go down can never be found outside.      Because, it lies right inside you somewhere. 

It will lead you to the right direction.

To your destination.

To what you love.

Beyond every change, she was human!!!

My chat with this soul in the railway station changed my view. Try me!!!

"Prostitution or begging are the only choices we are left with. We chose begging over prostitution.", she said.

"Is your family understanding your physical and mental change?", I questioned.

"Yes. They understand us. But the society wouldn't accept. So, we come out of the family. If we stay there, our brothers and sisters will not get married.", this was her friend.

I had to swallow what her friend said and continue talking with her. 

A train came and I asked if she wanted board the train and at the same time was distracted by the hand clasping of one of her friends towards the passengers.

"No. Its crowded. We will take the next train.", she said. Her friends nodded.

I composed myself again."So, when did you notice the change inside you?", I asked.

"I realized the transformation inside me, when I was 9. Then I operated my parts to appear like woman. It has been 12 years since operation."

Did your family help for your operation?

"No. We begged and collected money and with that we did our operation.", she and her friend said that in unison. 

She continued, "Its not as easy as you think. I suffered severe cramps in the body for 40 days after the operation."

I couldn't stand there. I was dumb stuck by what she said. Again a train crossed. It was also crowded. So I had some more time with my guest. I explained to her about my work and what I write in the blog and with some hesitation asked for a photo.

"Will you put anything wrong about me?", she asked. 

"No. I would not do anything like that.", I said.

"I have faced many things in my life. I don't think taking a photo will cause anymore harm than what I had undergone. Take it sister."

I clicked a snap. 

She then came near me and asked something that I couldn't comprehend. Her friend said that she wanted to see the photo. She blushed. I smiled and showed her photo in my mobile. There is really a woman inside her, my heart said to me.

"I look wary after all the collections.", she said to herself.

"By the way my name is Priya. How would I inform you when I post the article", I asked her.

She gave her number and when I was about to leave, she called me.

"Sister, My name is Leela."
I do not know whether she knows how to search for an article in the web. But I will call and tell her.

What I inferred after all the conversations was that, we should not judge people even if they are beggars. Every body has their own reasons. Yes. Transgenders have their own unique way of begging and it irritates all of us. But the society never allows them beyond a point. So, the next time you see them, give them something or nothing that is your wish. But do not mock them for what they are. They did not choose. They were not given a choice!!!

Nothing in common but love

Here I present the story of a man, who at the age of 75, having lost almost everyone in his family, has a stern determination to live on his own leg.

"I am Arulguru. I am 75. I work in this ATM. I had three daughters and one son. My son will be 45 this year. But, he spoiled his life drinking alcohol. One day, he was lying outside the temple. After that night he never woke up. All my children are dead except one. She is not my daughter but God. She has two sons of your age. I give all my earnings to her. She is taking care of me very well. See here, (showing a prescription and some tablets) I am not feeling well for some time. She took me to the doctor and bought me this medicine. I am thankful to her every way."

As we turned, we had a new visitor-a small girl. She is between 2 and 3, I could say. He turned to me and said, "She is my only friend here. She would come and talk to me every day. No one else cares. I am useless to them. I wish to die earlier. I don't want to be a burden to anyone."

When I asked him, how he manages during all night without sleep he replied, " I am aged. I don't get sleep often. My eyes don't support that any longer."

I promised to talk to him, whenever we met. He was happy that someone was listening to him. His eyes showed it to me. I have not seen Da Vinci's Monalisa. I don't have to. This man has showed the beauty of the painting to me.

Some people just want a recognition that they are alive. This little girl has given him that. Just a few minutes of childish talk makes an old man's day. Do we not cross many of the ATMs where old man like him deprive their entire sleep to provide safety to the money inside that box? We stand in a big queue to take the cash. We never care about these men.  As usual, the mobile data sucks the money from our mobile phones and we chat with unknown people miles away. Just a smile and a little chat can make these people's day. You will also experience the beauty of Monalisa. You will have a chance to uncover the secret of the Davinci's master piece.

"He smiles from his heart. His eyes still holds the sadness."

Make someone's day beautiful. Our smile and little chat with these souls with withering flesh will not cost us more than our phone bills.

Here is his little friend. She brings him nothing more than incoherent words. He could understand that. That's human love.

VISION-2023: As the TN Pegasus tries to fly high

A peek in to the Global Investors Meet 2015- Part 2

As I closely watched the live program of GIM 2015 (both the inauguration and the valedictory functions), I should say this is no time to troll Chennai and the entire TN about it’s under developed areas. But some things should get their attention anyways. I appreciate the investment of Tomohide, a Japan company in digitizing Ponneri in the Chennai-Bengaluru industrial corridor and also a 200 crore investment by Malaysia in Madurai-Tootukudi industrial corridor. A total of 80 MoUs (Memorandum of Understanding) have been signed in manufacturing, energy and medical sectors. The government has requested Apollo to introduce Tele-Medicine in remote villages which to its credit has successfully connected various remote parts of India through Tele-Medicine. 

All the newspapers are covering about the GIM 2015, the promises made by multinational and nationalized companies and small industries in various sectors. People say me that Chennai is the fastest growing state in India and these investments would certainly place TN ahead in all respects. 

Where the concentration is needed after all the paper works and implementation?

Obviously, Infrastructure…

As I mentioned in the previous article in my blog, it’s the infrastructure where the state needs to concentrate. There is dissatisfaction in my heart about the statement, “Tamil Nadu has enough electricity and it is in the verge of becoming an electricity surplus state”. I travel between the Singara Chennai and my village (as my present situation demands that) and I have experienced enough current less hours in both the places.

"Electricity is a different sector. Why are you talking about that in infrastructure?", I could hear some of the voices rising. 

Yes. Electricity belongs to energy sector. But, do we not live in a building with electrical wiring?  Don’t we expect to have the Air Conditioner on all the time? So, my definition of infrastructure includes this too. A major positive change in this sector would be the wish of all the people in TN, I think. Giving all the energy available to the investing companies and keeping the people in dark would reflect on the votes in the election. The present political party must remember that electricity crisis was among the few other reasons for the failure of the DMK lead government in 2011. I should mention here the MoU signed in the energy sector with the Adani group for 10,000 crores. This should be realized as fast as possible to satisfy the general public’s needs apart from sufficing the investors.

Another important aspect in which TN needs attention is the environment and sanitation. I hope people can understand that developing a clean environment to live is another important facet of infrastructure. There is a lot of buzz all over India about the “Clean India” campaign introduced by the central government. 

Tamil Nadu needs to implement this personally for its own good. The places like Perungudi and Kodungaiyur, where the entire Chennai’s waste are dumped, need to be given an attention. They are collected and dumped in these two places predominantly. Considering a city which generates a waste of 5000 tonnes per month and a dumping yard which has not been expanded for years holding a 30 feet of unprocessed and infected wastes, it’s a high time for the government to divert the remaining 10 percent of investment that has not been categorized to be invested on any sector based on the news so far. 

Every Tamilian would wish a better sanitation in all the places. The fine amount of 500 rupees for dumping non-degradable wastes in public places has never reached the people. Most of the people don’t even have any idea about this rule. This should be implemented the same way the rule of wearing helmets was established in the recent past. A “Clean TN” campaign is needed to save the state immediately from future disasters due to unprocessed wastes.

Resources: The Hindu, Quora, Times of India 

Many other problems will be discussed. Stay tuned!!!

I request all my readers to send a picture personally or in my timeline in any of the social media to prove that Tamil Nadu needs concentration in the electricity and environment. Use #TNVision2023. Join hands for TN. Create a ripple in the society. Plan to gift an energy surplus and clean TN to the future.

VISION-2023: As the TN Pegasus tries to fly high

A peek in to the Global Investors Meet 2015- Part 1

 Pegasus is a sign of lightning and it is believed wherever it lands it brings spring says the Greek mythology. Now it has made its presence in GIM 2015 (Global Investors Meet 2015), first of its kind in Tamil Nadu. With the literal translation of the flying horse’s name from Latin, we are bound to believe that the spring of Tamil Nadu has arrived and the growth would be like lightning and thunder. The profile of the state, ‘Why Tamil Nadu?’ in the official website of the meet presents itself as one of the fastest growing state in 9 of the 12 sectors in India. The GIM has a target of attracting 1 lakh crore investment (16 billion USD) which the government sources say, have already surpassed. Partnership from 9 countries and 21 organisations, housing about 1000 foreign investment delegates and 4000 from various parts of India in a single roof in the Chennai Trade centre, GIM has showed its might in the inauguration event. 

There are lot of factors to be considered which have been a great hinder to the past investors like delay in clearance of documents, the electricity crisis and the unknown unions formed in the manufacturing units that participate in strikes most of the time. For the above mentioned problems, the government have answers. 

The government in the GIM has promised the single window clearance in 30 days for the Memorandum of Understandings signed in the event. The government has registered its point that it is in the verge of turning in to an electricity surplus state. The statistics in the state also gives a clear picture that the strike rate in the state has decreased to a great extent from 2003 to 2012. It has also clarified that the closing of Nokia manufacturing unit in Chennai was not because of the Government.

Let us assume, TN gets the 1 lakh crore investments as planned and even surpasses the target. What does that have to do with the normal citizen living in Chennai or anywhere in Tamil Nadu? The investments have been guaranteed to be taken 40% from energy sector, 40% from manufacturing and 10% from IT and IT enabled Services. 

First of all, this promises surplus employment opportunities in the future in the energy and manufacturing sector. ‘Do we have the skilled labour to achieve this target?’ is the next question that pops in our head. ‘Yes, we have or we will create it’, says the government and this statement were backed by HCL in the event, which has promised a skill development program for about 20,000 students in various fields all over the state.

Second, this would help improve the infrastructure of the state. Third, if all goes as planned Tamil Nadu will achieve its Vision, to achieve 14% growth rate per annum and a total 15 lakh crore investment by 2023.

Infrastructure 

I have intent to explore this second point. A state that is a hub for 6 international airports, lot of manufacturing units in automobile sector and textile and leather industry has posed itself a great challenge in this concern. The government has to realize that it is not enough to develop and maintain the areas of Meenambakkam and that of the areas stayed and visited by VIPs. The entire state needs the best infra to project to be the leading state in India, a feat the government has beset to achieve. In the past, the development in the state has destroyed a lot of natural resources. One such example is the Koovam River in Adayar. This generation would never accept it as river but as drainage. Lot of ponds and lakes have vanished in the name of urbanization. 

 

Today’s state of Koovam River, Adyar.

“The lost beauty-Buckingham canal”

Picture and quote credit: Arvind an IT professional at Athena health

Will the investments, in various parts of TN, destroy the left over natural resources? This question irks my mind. So does for the many other people in the state. The answer lies in the hand of the government which has given Environmental protection infrastructure subsidy up to USD 50,000.

Resources: Wikipedia, The Hindu, GIM website

Public views are being collected through various social media. Stay tuned for the next part!!!