Beyond every change, she was human!!!

Part-2

As a continuation to the article Beyond every change, she was human!!!, here I present the reason behind the few choices provided for transgenders in their life. Before going to the real problem faced by these marginalized people, I have to say about one of the successful person among them. It is +Kalki Subramaniam. She is a dual Master's degree holder, which is one of the greatest struggle even for a normal person. She has addressed in lots of famous universities around the world like IIT Madras, Jindal law school and so on. She is a multi-faceted person. She is a transgender rights activist, an actress, a poet and a entrepreneur. She was the first Indian transgender person to act as a lead character in the movie named 'Narthagi', which portrays the feeling of a transgender, their fears, love and true happiness in life. Her name has decorated many awards like the 'Life time achievement award' from the Lioness club in the 2009, 'Outstanding Social  Worker award' from the Junior Chamber International Pondicherry White Town in the year 2013. She was invited by the government of the United States of America for a 16 days Human Rights activism & Awareness program through IVLP to Washington DC, New York and Salt Lake City. She is the first trans sexual foreign national to be invited by the United States government. She has also been invited internationally to speak on marginalized people's rights. She has found Sahodari foundation, to help the transgenders get independence in life.

There are lots of transgenders, who have achieved a lot. But she is my personal favorite because, she is a writer. Her book, 'Kuri Aruthen' has won the Best Poet award from the Born2Win Trust, Chennai and she is also working on two other books presently. Another thing that makes her so special to me is the recent TEDx talk (Sep 2015). TEDx talk is a dream for many youngsters, especially me. She spoke on the title 'The necessity of social equality', which is really inspiring. Her dream which was once to interview the actress Suhasini (Wife of Manirathnam), came true, only to her surprise, it was Suhasini who was interviewing Kalki after the film Narthagi. She quotes in this talk, "If a boy who was searching who he was, when others were searching what to have as a career, is able to go a lot of distances in life after becoming a woman, then I believe anyone can do anything in this world. The achievements are not categorized according to gender. If you believe in yourself, then you can do anything." My interpretation of video is that, these words can be said by anyone. But she stands there in the stage, delivering a speech and the sentence, "I'm Kalki. I am a trangender and I'm proud of it", makes her unique.

So, here is a human, heightened by knowledge, proud for who she is and fighting for what people like her really want - respect and dignity from the society.

I mentioned about Kalki to show what the most of the transgenders lack- education, which she had the privilege of having (Yes. You are reading it right. Education , which is a fundamental right of every Indian becomes a privilege for transgenders) and hence made her stand apart from everyone. 

In my first post on transgenders, I promised that I would talk with Leela again, to convey that to her. Many people gave their views: what they thought about transgenders before reading the article and how the article changed their view. Many requested to talk to Leela as soon as possible and record her response. Yes, I did call her. It was after a long hesitation and fear. My fear was that she would have given me a wrong number. After sitting and thinking in front of the phone for a long time, I called the number Leela gave. The number rang. So, I was relieved that at least it was a number that worked. Then after four to five rings, I was attended by the same voice that spoke to me before and the good thing was that she remembered me as a girl who took her a picture. But I had to make a series of calls to get some response.

First call.. 9.30 AM

I was shy to talk and she was busy cooking. I thought, except me everybody in this world is busy and asked when to call her. I was given the time as 2.30.

Second call.. 2.30 PM

I have never been so punctual to call someone. I called her that day, again. I was sure this time what to talk. But, she was not. She replied with a fear. I could feel that in her voice, a fear of talking to a stranger. I asked her if she had a account in Facebook and if I could share the article with her. She said she had a account but in a boy's name. I wanted to ask her few more questions. But, she again cut me short and asked me to call her after sometime.

Third call.. 4.30 PM

This was the second time in my life I was calling someone on the time they gave. Yeah!! I called her again and this time the voice was different. I was afraid that she has given the phone to someone to scold me for disturbing her again and again. To my surprise, I learnt that it was her daughter (This girl- Poornima, again a transgender, called Leela her Amma when she spoke to me). She said her Amma was sleeping. I asked where they were living and with whom. She said they were three people living together in Nungambakkam. Poornima, Leela and Leela's mother (She did not say me her name, but said she was also a transgender). Leela was sleeping and so I decided to talk to Poornima.

"I was avoided by my family. I had no place to go and finally I was taken by my Amma.", she said. 

"Did you study?", it was me.

"Yes, I studied till 12th. The government helped me complete my studies.", she said.

"Wow!!! Then? Did you try to study after that?", I questioned her. 

"Yes. I wanted to study after that. But that is when my parents left me. They questioned me that what change would studying bring to me. I did not know what to say at that time."

Her voice trailed off.

"Its fine. Don't feel bad about that. But even if you cannot go to the college on daily basis, you can join distance education if you really want to study.", I suggested her.

"Yes, I can do. I should try that.", she said.

I also suggested her to find about Sagothari foundation run by Kalki and asked her to try getting some help from them.

I was a bit afraid to tell her but told this, "If you can start a shop or something like that, you will be treated differently. You will be treated with respect. The Sagothari foundation can help you that way or even I know how to make chocolates. If you are interested I can teach you how to make them and it will fetch you a lot of money. Actually, people will not look down upon you."

I don't know where did I get that strength. I talked continuously. 

Thank god. She did not cut the call. She should have understood my concern. 

"Yeah. If I have a thought, I will call you. Take my number too. In case if you want to talk anything, you talk to me. My mom feels uncomfortable to talk to strangers.", she said.

I thanked her for talking to me.

End of the call.

I feel what they need is not money. But, they need the courage to come out. They need acceptance. They need education to get all this. If not formal, an education to run a shop at least. Begging is not the way of life. I heard a friend saying to me, "Whenever I see a transgender demanding money from us, I do not get irritated. They demand because they feel that they have the right to do that. They feel that they would have become like us if they were given a chance."
My opinion goes with him. They are rejected for what they were not responsible. To finance the operation to convert their private parts itself becomes a challenge for them. Education becomes out of picture at an age they need it most. Support by the u r loved ones is not provided when they badly need it. They get a wrong impression that dressing and making up their face is the only thing they can do. This has to be changed. I don't have the idea how it can be done. But, will be proud to help them to the any extent. Yes, I believe I will do. If you can, don't hesitate. 
Accept them as who they are.

Post Script: I tried to serch Leela's FB page. But it was difficult to trace. I don't have the courage to call her again for that. The next time I call her, I would have figured out a way to help them all.

Where is beauty?

Where is it?
The beauty!!!
They say, it lies in the eyes of the beholder,
They say, it is only skin deep.
The definitions don't define it perfectly.
How would that fit within few words?
Beauty is broad,
It's everywhere.

It is there in the smile of a stranger,
A precious gift experienced when two eyes meet for the first time.
It is there in the crazy laughter of your friend,
When they run to the bathroom just hearing your unworthy joke.
It is there in the eyes of a mother,
The tear that drops when she holds her baby for the first time after an unbearable pain during delivery.
It is there in the pride of the father,
When he sees his child excel.
Its in the fake cry of your brother or sister,
To get whatever you have in your hand.
It is in the sweat of the laborer,
When they receive their wage at the end of the day.
It is in the love of your love,
When they make sacrifices for you.

It is in the nature,
It is in the rain, when it abandons the cloud and embraces the earth.
It is in the sea, when it ebbs endlessly towards you and away from the boundless sky.
It is in a bird, when it sits alone and sings for no one,
In a butterfly and in a flower,
In the uninhabited desert and in the rocky peak,
In the sliding glaciers,
And when the sun rises and sets, beauty expresses itself.


True that, its in the hot people acting in movies.
More than that, its in the people you see everyday,

In the mirror and inside you,
In a fair skin and in a dark skin as well,
And in the blue or black or brown eyes,
In a scar or a mole,
In the confidence of a physically challenged,
In the innocence of the ignorant, 
In success and in failure too,
And in the happiness of a broken heart,

Everywhere...
Beauty is everywhere!!!

These are not definitions,
No definitions can define some words exactly,
Beauty is one such...
It has a broader perspective to it.

Image source: Tumblr

Go ego!!!

Shalu was Ritu's best friend. Troubling teens, both were. They were in 10th grade and good at studies, top ten in the class. So nobody could complain about their mischevousness.

Shalu's house was near the temple. They used to go there and have fun. She was very lean, while Ritu was a bit fat. Forget their size differences, they were hell to handle together.

Shalu bought a new dress, a blue one with sandal stripes. It was a full hand dress with a netted shall. It was too good but too big for her. So she offered that new dress to Ritu. It looked perfect on her.

The day came, when Shalu left Ritu to another school. She resisted to go there. But her parents pushed her too much. Ritu was angry. When Shalu came to tell a good bye, Ritu did not talk. Even when she cried hugging her, Ritu did not yield. Both were very much hurt. Ritu wanted her to stay. Who would she have to talk? Who would she have to study with? Who would she have to tell about her crush on some boy? But, she did not ask her to stay. She did not tell her best friend, how important she was to her. How would she? Her ego won. Shalu left the place.

Shalu, on one random day, came to Ritu's house. She shouted at the top of her voice, asking for her blue dress.

'If you could not understand me, then no way you can have my dress.', she went near Ritu and said.

Ritu was breathless and was profusely sweating when she woke up. She became pale. Whenever she crosses Shalu's house while going to the temple, she would say, 'I am sorry baby. I cannot return your dress. I am sorry for not stopping you from going away. I am sorry for not understanding you that day.' How would she give her? Shalu died a month ago. It was a suicide and no one knew the reason. It was rumored that she could not bear being away from her family and her best friend.

In our lives, there comes a stage where our ego tries to conquer the true love we have for some people. It just makes the time we had with them a ghost. If we could forget that ego thing and show them how important they are to us, everything will be fine. Just fine. Try killing ego and you will never regret it. It works in every realtionship, frienship or love or anything.

Conflict of interest!!

"It was a tough day. Very tough indeed", said my conscience.

"So, why was it tough for you?", I questioned.

"It's a long story", said my conscience.

"Interesting one?", it was me.

"Yes, of course", said my conscience.

"Then try to fascinate me", I challenged.

"You will love this. It's a love story", said my conscience.

"Fine then, start it", I demanded.

"Do you know you have a heart and a brain?", it was my conscience.

"Excuse me, of course I know what I have and what I do not.", I raised my voice because I felt my conscience was hurting my ego.

"Fine can you please stop interrupting?", my conscience said.

"Then why did you ask a question at first place? You are so rude", I said.

"I am what you are. Caring and rude. Anyways I am sorry. Do you want the story or what?", again it was hurting my ego. But I managed to keep myself calm. What if my conscience have another trait of mine? Stubbornness- What if it became stubborn not to tell the story?

"Yes. I will keep my mouth shut. You continue with your story.", I said in a rather low voice.

Okay then, here is your story.

Today morning when you woke up, I was contacted from my court for a trial.

It was mentioned to be very urgent and I had to take a shortcut through your neurons. By the way, your electrical signals are quiet fast.

"So you travel through my neurons?!", I wanted to ask but I didn't want to interrupt the story. So just said "Mmmm. Thanks."

The case was a serious one. A divorce case it was.

"Who the hell wanted divorce?", I asked my conscience.

Your brain and heart, my conscience said. They are nuts, just like you.

I didn't want to comment. That was actually a true fact.

"What was their problem and who asked for it?", I tried to ask politely. I know, I failed.

Ignoring me but answering my question, my conscience continued. It was your brain. The reason was very silly. Your brain accused your heart of falling in love again and again. The weirdest reason I have ever encountered.

"Indeed", I said to myself.

My conscience continued the story in the mean time. Your brain says he encounters a lack of oxygen, whenever the heart falls in love. Sometimes the heart increases it's rate. Your heart falls in love often with lots of people, let's say with your parents, friends and with some of your relatives. And sometimes it suddenly loves to work on a completely a different thing while your brain is working on some other thing. This results in numbness. Your heart jumps like a monkey from one thing to another. This was your brain's argument.

Now it was your heart's turn to place its argument. Your heart just asked, "Who asked for the blood to be full of adrenalin? This secretion of Adrenalin, resulting in constriction of blood vessels: That increases my rate of beating and its completely under your control brainie. What do I have to do with it?", accused your heart.

"And of loving to work on different tasks, I thought brainie was capable of doing completely whatever I loved to do. I am sorry if I was wrong", said your heart.

Your brain was felling bad for destructing a belief of someone it loved. 

You know even I fall in love with your heart, my conscience said. It has not lost its childishness even after all these 22 years. I asked your heart with a little concern. It's not like you, you know. I should be careful with it. It gets hurt so easily.

"So there is a conflict of interest involved in the case. You sound like you are going to be on my heart's side. Even, I smell a rat man. You cannot be a judge", I said.

Yes absolutely. But I was a judge and so I controlled my feelings towards your heart and asked why was it loving so many people and tasks? I said to your heart that it might lead to a lot of bad consequences. Most of the time, when this happens the brain loses its sanity and subsequent actions are disrupted. "You get that?",  I asked your heart and continued saying, "When you break over a failure the brain's hypothalamus orders the release of cortisol, a hormone that increases depression. It even affects my (conscience) ability to cope up with things.

Your heart blinked like a baby trying to figure out what I said. Then it spoke like this to the brain,

"Hey. I know I make it difficult for you, sometimes. But, am I not the reason behind your drive to achieve things? Am I not helping you to come up, when you tire and fall down? You have filed a case because I fall in love often. Here is the truth, I love you. If that's a problem for you, then I request you", your heart turned towards me and said "You can proceed with your judgement and give us a divorce"

Then to your brain it said, "I am sorry that I made it hard for you brainie. But I still love you beyond anything in this world. I want to say you are the only one reason behind my life and if you gonna break our bond, I am not going to stay anymore. I am nothing without you"

I should admit that your heart is the most beautiful thing you have. It just had me spell bound and I didn't care about the conflict of interest at that moment. I wanted to say that I will not give divorce and wanted to slap your brain on its back and ask it to live with your heart for the rest of your life no matter what, even though there were enough reasons to give a divorce.

Thank god your brain too fell for your heart all over again. He withdrew the case and I was saved of my judgement. It was tough you know, in case if your brain did not fall, your heart would have left and think of me. I would have not come to tell the story to you. I am nothing without your heart even though I am a part of your brain at the first place.

"So where are they now?", I asked my conscience.

"Inside you, in love. Make use of them. They can take you wherever you want to. They are not the best in the world. No one have the best. But You can mould them to be the best in whatever you want to. You get that?", My conscience asked me. 

"I love this story and umm.. I want to say that I am nothing without you", I said to my conscience.

My conscience smiled.

All is well when you love yourself.

It's dangerous!!!

She was walking through the night.
The yellow light from the lamp,
Made her shadow appear ghostly.
The light glowed hauntingly reflecting on her dress.
She looked less human.
Her eyes wandered, searching for someone.

She looked into the trees.
They did not move an inch, for they were afraid,
Not of her, but of her tears.

Suddenly,
She felt a chill on her spine.
She knew the reason.
She found 'that someone' she was searching.
She smiled.
Her eyes searched intensely.
A breeze blew the hair on her face,
She then closed her eyes, allowing the breeze to embrace her.
The trees astonished by what they saw,
Made a 'swish' sound but stopped the second she looked at them.
She then walked away saying "Yes. I do"

His soul wept in the shadow,
For the answer she gave him.
He promised he would never show up.
But his soul stayed, where he met with that terrible accident and left her helpless.
And the trees mourned his sadness.
He stayed just to hear from her once again.
He never left that tree after he died.

For that darkness and the chill never scared her.
She knew he would be waiting for her everyday.
Why else would the breeze ask her, 'Do you still love me?'?
She said to herself , "Yes. Still, I do"
And walked to their home.
Like the day they were walking together after the dinner.
Only to end up losing him.

The man who killed him, was drinking again!
Driving in the dimly lit road.
The tree's 'swish' was heard again.
The breeze blew.

His car now tumbled over a ditch.

The same place where she lost him.
It was never an accident.
There was never a ditch before.

Don't drink and drive. It's dangerous.

He still stands under that tree and watches everyone,
And the breeze blows whenever someone drink and drive,
For his love walks everyday to say him her love.

The love affair!!!

The sound of the drop "thud thud thud" echoes through my heart!!!

A rain is always special...

For it brings back a lot of beautiful memories from the past,

For it creates a lot of moments to enjoy and cherish later.

A short romance tale between the rain and the earth and the tree.

Their love affair goes like this..

The earth

He displays a love so unconditional,

For the he looks up all the time,

Cracks when his better half turns him down,

Spreads the smell of love the second she touches him.

The rain

An undeniable and unstoppable,

Through the ocean filled with her drops;

She talks to the earth all the time as the tides rise and fall.

With a flood she embraces her love,

Cleanses his dirty soul with her purity.

 

Finally- The messenger of love. 

The trees- Earth's best friend.

To the heart of the earth his root goes,

Bends to the wind and delivers the message to his friend's love.

He sustains the romance between the two - a complete essential for all the lives around.

Its weird but true that even the tree's life depend on her.

He loves her too, for her presence cherishes his life.

She likes him though for she looks beautiful on him, but her love waits below.

For the tree cannot stand without earth, he is loyal to his friend and so,

Sheds her below with a glow from above.

For we cannot change anything about their love affair, we can send a message through the tree, for he will bring her back to earth.

Plant a sapling or sow a seed.

Gift a world of love and friendship to the future.

~ To the love of earth, rain, tree and beyond!!!

WHAT IS YOUR RELIGION?

I follow Hinduism. I pray to the idols in the temple. I celebrate Diwali, Pongal, Dhasara and many other festivals. I share sweets with my friends during these festivals.

My best friend is a Muslim. He believes in one god and in non-idol worship. He celebrates Ramzan, Bakrid and many other festivals. I have heard many of my other friends talking about the taste of the Biryani during these festivals in his home (Being a vegetarian I couldn’t afford to take the offer).

One of my friends is a Christian. She goes to church every Sunday, celebrates Christmas, Easter and many other festivals. I have tasted the Christmas and Easter cakes myself and they were really awesome.

When we were born, we were just blood and flesh. There was no religion inscribed into any of us. But forgive the society; we were brought into a cycle of belief. It is for the good, I should say. Religion gives us a belief beyond the existence of man. We are given a path to follow. We are taught to love, live and thank someone beyond, which help us beyond the four walls of a temple or a church or a mosque.

We are born in a secular country which respects the culture and tradition of all religions equally. My stand is that, you need not accept others beliefs. You don’t even have to be secular at all. But remember, others have the same right too. This does not imply that anyone can disrespect any religion because they are not following it.

Religious tolerance comes naturally to people who really admire their beliefs. People who fear their existence alone, admits violence as their weapon. So if disrespect towards other religions is purely based on fear that the religion would die, then even your own religion would never accept you. A religion never fears. It knows it will be followed. It knows it will have followers. Because, it shows the path of love and beyond.

And to be precise,

I am a Hindu who desperately wants to end my last breath at Kasi.

I am a Muslim who wants to perform the Hujj Yatra before I die.

I am a Christian who wants to attend the Mass every Sunday.

I am a Sikh who wants to keep the beard and hair uncut throughout my life.

I am a Jew, I even follow Buddhism and Jainism. I am a Parsi too and the list goes on and on.

After experiencing to be all, I am proud to accept I have my own beliefs. I am not secular at all. I declare myself to be a religious extremist, only that my religion being Humanity and my belief being love and compassion- A lesson thought by all these religions. 

So, What is your religion?

~A dedication to Gandhi, the same man who inspired me to write this.