Screens to Writings to NLP - Passion is always a way of life

Starting from Television's to smart devices that provide Virtual reality experiences, the screens have been a great role player in our everyday lives.

When Philo Taylor Farnsworth invented and demonstrated TV in 1927, I am not sure what his vision was. But, whatever it was, it has become a success. 

I had been a TV lover since childhood. My childhood, along with my sister, who used to be indoors because both my parents worked most of the day, consisted of fighting and pulling and making each other mad for reason. Only thing that connected us was Television.

My mom would instruct us to read and write home works and I as a big sister would give all false promises to take care of everything. I would use the key, that's provided for me to connect the cable again in our terrace and come back diligently sit with my lovely little sister to watch TV, until we hear our mom's bike outside. The moment we hear her, we would pull of the plug, take a note or a book and would start (acting to) writing or reading.

From those days to now, scrolling in small screens until someone actually catches the attention ik real life, life has evolved so much but the addiction to screens has remained the same. While remeber those childish days as funny ones, now I don't cherish the addiction to screens as much. It's not because I have a kid. It's because it's not doing any good. 

Watching those videos endlessly, window shopping on Amazon and Flipkart, we have become emotionless. 

When they told chatgpt can write, i thought I would write endless books with it's help. I still can. But, it's not me. This is me. 

The flawed, addicted, back paining, daughter loving ❤️, fighting, achieving, failing, succeeding, cooking, working, automating , ranting (and many more) is me. 

My prompts might be me. But, the endless amount of chucked human data is not me. And cannot capture my emotions through its writing.

If only writing can give me happiness, why would I use the NLP based Transformer to do that for me?

Passion

How  you make your decisions!

Part-2

Passion

There is something special about this word. Yeah! You are right. Its the word that can be directly associated with love. 

In a conversation with a person who is from a research background in education (continuing his research even at the age of 80) quoted me that 

"You mean by passion!? 

'Emotions'- roughly a passion is an emotion strengthened.

 'Love' is an emotion but when you fall in love with someone/something to the point of ignoring everything else it becomes a passion'"

I found it quite right. I hope many can. Because if you take any dictionary, passion would be quoted as feeling or emotion over something or someone, that is so intense and leads to an outburst. Its root is from Old French and Late Latin. (Source: 

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com)

(Eh! People I see you smiling. You could already relate the word to the land of love) 

To the topic now...

How passion can impact any decisions taken by you?

I don't think I am a perfect person to answer that. But, I think I can score a 50/100 in this question. I pass. Hence, I wish to kill you with my answer. And I give you the right to kill me with your marks. 

I wasn't aware that I love writing. It was my personal ecstasy. I never felt anything special about this kind of communication. But, few things I found in me quite different from others were this

1. Whenever I felt down or extremely happy, I wrote. You can ask from when? It was from the age of 14. Yem! Its quite late for the people in this digital era. But, then it was my way of finding out what I wanted to do with my emotions in 'my era'.

2. That I have written two stories and 5 poems about things that really affected my conscience by the age of 17. That counts the works only in my diary. Many of my poems were in papers and it flew from one text book to another and I have had the experience of rescuing them even from the dustbins.

3. "Diaries weren't meant to be shared", my friends said to me. But then, I wanted people to look at my stories. I offered my personal diary (to clarify, it only had my favorite color and all that stuff a 14 year girl could have written) with all the poems and stories to know how they were. 

And finally, when I wasn't ready for anything else at one stage of life (probably, before 6 months), I was ready for this. Writing! Scribbling! and all that. And I think, I even surprise myself sometimes. When I look at what I have written in the past, I couldn't find myself writing it. 

It is not an easy task. When I write, I have the experience of crying in front of the screen of my laptop and wetting my keyboard (sometimes its my sister's laptop and I secretly wipe them out) . I have the experience of smiling and laughing for unknowing reasons, re-reading a single line thousand times, all that could qualify me to be in the list of mentally unstable people.

And that is when, it hit me hard. I was ready to quote and showcase myself crazy and mentally unstable for writing. Only that.

And here I am. 

In your mobile and laptop screens.

Through my words.

Through my passion, I live.

I did not decide it to be this way. But then, it happened. I do not relate my professional life with this kind of love. I love the job I do. But, this is different. This is where I can find and replicate my soul. 

Many people who answered my questions on passion said the same thing, "I do not know where my passion would take me. But, I will follow it". And most of them did not have it as their profession. So what? A person with passion will always live their life passionately, no matter how they earn their money! Its not about the money. Its about the heart.

One of my humble bestie told me that

(Well she earns a sum of money per month that I don't want to mention which everyone of our age die for and she is happier than anybody I know. She is the most passionate person I have ever seen.)

Another one quoted this to me,

Passion on something comes naturally. 
Like a mother's love to a child.
Passion is love, a form that is so unconditional! 
So pure.
And yes, it affects the decisions a lot. We will find a way. Just to pursue our dreams. Passion will drive us to do that, in every way it can. 
Like, a doctor working as an RJ at weekends.
Like, an engineer participating in lake clean-ups every week.
Like, some part of you becoming some other part and it just feels almost yourself.

Passion is life. Burn yourself until you find your ashes burn again for your passion. And it will craft you and your decisions automatically into something you have never imagined to be and that is what even my survey showed. 

[I think I really passed answering the question "How passion can impact any decisions taken by you?"]


Thanks to +Abinaya Govindarajan , +Nandhagiridharan.ng@gmail.com , +Vivek Anand  for answering my questions I asked. You guys are awesome and thanks to all those who filled the survey 3 months before. 

I think I have to talk about Passion more on the perspective of people who have grown old with it. Will see. At least through the quotes from them. Stay reading!

Dreams!

How you make your decisions?

Part 2 

Dreams
Dreams occurs in the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) part of the sleep and this part of sleep that leads to a dream certainly improves three types of memory: procedural, spatial and emotional. It is considered to be one of the essential parts of sleeping stages and it improves creativity too. It is stated that the REM deprivation would affect the factual memory and increase depression. This eventually means that dreams are an important part of our psychological life.

Recently I saw a video on How we ignore the mental healthiness, a TED talk of course (I love them), in which I could get one perfect message for this generation Y- We should practice mental healthiness as seriously as physical healthiness and fitness. 
So how would we relate this to dreams?
Yes, after reading the last two paragraphs, you should have come to a conclusion that, for mental wellness, dreams are an essential part. 
And yeah! You are right.
My readers are brilliant. I know that guys.
But then, after placing all the information as far as I read from other websites (which is the most difficult part of this article), I want to agree that dreams are more closer to our heart and mind  (மனசு in Tamil) in different ways. For now, forget the brain. Let's talk about the heart and the mind.

Dreams are the most precious part of any person's sleep. Oh! Yeah, I am sorry. I forgot the night mares and the sleep paralysis. But then, in my view, its always the expression of our subconscious mind. 

Staying in a hostel and sleeping with your room mates and sometimes with your friends from other rooms, you should have a brave heart to wake up in the mid night to drink some water. Because, people tend to dream and in that process, they talk or shout in the middle and you can get paralyzed waking up to that incoherent sound, the worst trying to get a glass of water in half-sleep  and suddenly they shout LaKa..LaKa..LaKa (After seeing Chandarmuki I seem to think that way). You feel like being with Anabella doll from Conjuring and the dresses start floating(It was for a long time, but you always misinterpret in half-sleep). And of course the good part is, you can always tease your friend if they say their boy friend's name. But, think about how Nithradevi would betray you after that sudden bump in the midnight. You should wait to tease till the dawn breaks, trying to wake someone else in the mean time. That's the terrible part.

[Okay! Don't sleep in the middle of this article. Anabella will come and haunt you in your dreams.] 

Personal experiences with dreams have deeply imprinted in me the idea that dreams are the expressions of your subconscious mind as I said before.

I have dreamed of my death. I was taught how to behave like a ghost in that dream by my school teacher. Wow! The feel was amazing. That freedom you get when there is nothing to worry about in life. I flew high into the endless sky and glided in the air to my home to see if my mom was crying over my loss and was happy to see her crying. (after waking I felt how silly I was, even in a dream.)

I have dreamed of my dead friend. She has always been there during my school days in my dreams. After few encounters with her in my dream (though the first one was scary), I was convinced that whenever she came in my dream, something good happened the next day.

I have dreamed the end of the earth just as in 2012 (may be I was seeing that movie that day) and the good thing was nothing happened to me and my family. But, seeing the world tumble in front of you is not a good feel at all.

I have dreamed of walking with my dream man, only to my little mind, his face was not visible.

I have dreamed of more beautiful college days, which was obviously less funnier than what I wanted it to be.

There have been dreams of longing and terror (the nightmares and sleep paralysis- this tops in the frequency) and disaster. There have been dreams of showing-off to the one who mocked me. 

Believe it or not, I got a dream three weeks back about getting my Date Of Joining from the company I longed to join and the next day I got it. May be, it was a mere coincidence. But, I believe in my dreams. I believe that its a message my heart tries to tell me.  I try to comprehend what my mind tries to say me and many times it says what I want to hear. I have lived because I have survived all my dreams.

If you can dream about getting something, then you have the capability to make it happen too. (My version of a quote I read once, probably the one below). 

Sometimes, dreams can be in a sleep i.e, from the subconscious level. Some times, it's reaches the conscious level too. This drives us to do things, that no one would have thought we were capable of. Bringing a dream from the subconscious level (from the deep heart and mind) to the conscious level where we can execute to live it, creates a successful person in our own world. Many of my stories in this blog were from this conscious level of dreaming. (I don't mean to say I am successful, but then I consider the completion of every post here to be a success. It's not easy to comprehend all my dreams. But I love doing it and I try.)

Dreams differ from people to people, both at conscious and unconscious level. The happiness, love, success, freedom, terror, longing and sadness and every emotion and feeling you know, intensifies in a dream and at different proportions for different people. And a person who could follow those intensified emotions from his heart and mind and direct himself in the right way, would eventually succeed. 

You never fail. A dream lived or tried itself is a success achieved. But, you just betray your dreams when you don't follow them. And betrayal hurts the most.

Dreams are like babies. You are it's parent. True that parents make mistakes. To err is human. But they never betray their baby. They try to give their best to them. So, what about you?

PS: The article about Passion would be the next. Stay reading.

Here is another inspiring TED talk on 5 ways to kill your dreams! If you have read this long, take 6 minutes of your time to watch this. Its worth it.

Funding for a cause

"As of now, what's the status in Chennai?"

Someone would post and 

"Yeah dude! Its still raining."

Someone would reply in a comment.

Or

"wats happening there? do you need volunteers?"

"Yes we need sm 15 people to go to Mudichur area. sm1 interested? We have lots f things to provide lik rice, dresses, bedsheets"

"Yes, my friend is there. i ll ask him to ping u n a few mnutes wit sm area guys."

The first is the situation in Facebook groups and the second is a depiction of conversation in Whatsapp groups and chats.

My group Help Chennai! then changed to Help TAMIL NADU!

Chennai Rising- named someone.

Its TN. Even Cuddalore and other districts have to be considered said someone else.

The range of help Chennai has provided to itself can never be depicted in words. The integrity and love felt by every human soul in and around the city and how it helped other districts in TN should have touched infinity by now. The people from Karnataka, Kerala and other states and even from abroad, who collected funds for the people in one way or the other and risked themselves to make sure it reached the right people were remarkable. Many people who left Chennai during the first stages of rain (first week of December), has expressed their guilt for not being able to participate actively in the rescue and volunteering operations. The problem lies here.

The fact that the help is pouring from everywhere is true. And the fact that you might be lead down by some false requests and your money or things might get wasted on that is also equally true. Funding for a cause is not a bad idea at all. Actually it’s the best thing you can do. But, to whom you are giving and how authenticated their information are, is under question when you are at a long distance and if you cannot verify the data provided by them, then it’s not worth spending time on. It will not reach any people for sure.

I just want to mention here, how I came across the real volunteers near my place.

I started a group called Help Chennai! in Whatsapp on Dec 3. I added all my friends from schooling to college to workplace. Those people in that group had no idea who the hell the other one was. But still they all remained together. May messages were shared regarding the weather, immediate need of things at various places and need for volunteers and works of volunteers in badly affected areas. I wanted to donate things, but had no idea how to find out the rescue camps or volunteers. That is when my friend Aravind (College mate) came to my rescue. He referred his friend- Santhosh, who had already collected and given relief materials through Collector office for Kanchipuram district. Even before this I had been given names of volunteers, but I did not go for it because I did not have any sorts of verified or authenticated messages. Here was this boy from Kanchipuram, who was a close friend of my good friend. So why would I not consider this? I did. He messaged me, calling me Akka. There was this conversation about his volunteer group’s next day visit to Chennai and then we ended it saying the things would be collected by tomorrow.

To say frankly, I am not a person who believes anything until it happens. So, even after this conversation and even after I felt comfortable with this bro, I did not prepare my bag for them to collect.

The next day morning my friend called me to inform about the where-abouts of his friend. I thought Santhosh would come and collect from me. Then, I had been messaged by two other people from Santhosh's group at 9’o clock. Then there was no communication. All the networks went dead and I thought like they would never reach me. Now I had made my bag with some of my dresses and shawls and bags from other houses were getting into my home to be given to the people in relief camps. I got excited and panicked at the same time. What if these people could not turn up? 

The only good thing that was positive at that time was that I had given my address to all the volunteers I came in touch with in Whatsapp. Then suddenly when I returned from the other flat collecting things, I saw two of the people standing there with the bags from my home. So finally they were there. I didn’t even have the time to learn about their residence and all that. It was my father who told me about where they were from. I could get their name. That is all I could get. Later learnt they were from the next street. I was informed about where the materials would be delivered and to whom. After which another friend of mine-Roshan, who lives near my place came to deliver things like cups, tracks for men and the same above mentioned things happened again the next day. These volunteer boys made a point that they worked in shifts. I was astonished by their commitment and organisation even in the heavy rain.

I have to thank Aravind, Santhosh from Kanchipuram, Mary and Shaym and their friends from Adambakkam and to people in their group and my group who listened and did whatever they could. Thanks to my neighbors, who donated even their new dresses and blankets and beds.

I am proud I have been a part of it. I will be a part of it in the future too, for this doesn't mark the end. We are just a dust. The rest, Chennai knows, sorry Tamil Nadu knows. 

If you want to contribute make sure it's a trusted end and it reaches the right people.

Fund for a cause.

But, make sure you go with/to the right set of people.

In the pursuit of myself!!!

Life is not full of butterflies and flowers.

Yes. It is not.

But the way you see the thorns and bumps also makes a difference.

You cannot walk on the thorns. Sure you cannot.

And you cannot go smoothly in a bump. No you cannot.

But you can always change the perspective,

With hope, yes you can.

After my last exams of undergraduate,

I had choices.

I had enough of it than anyone else.

I chose to not to choose hastily.

I waited, I tried new possibilities.

It was one good day,

I was suggested to do what I loved.

It was a friend, a well wisher,

And a person who gives a constant source of encouragement,

Okay, a good combination of all.

I thought I had my calling. Yes, it was. 

But, it was not easy.

I had bad times,

But it was less than anybody's, who did not have anything to choose.

I gave up one of the opportunity to become independent,
And I was scrutinized by more and most people.

I went to a state of depression.

I had to walk on thorns sometimes,

I never stopped.

So were some of my friends, going through the same phase of their life.

To remind me that I was not alone in the bizarre bumpy ride.

I was inspired by the optimism and hope they had.

Knowingly or unknowingly they shared it with me.

Thanks to them, their presence has made me who I am today.

I find solace in here.

A thing I love the most.

I had a different experience in all.

I am now identified as a person who can convey the thoughts reasonably well,

Through a medium called writing.

Some of my friends call me with a writers name I admire.

And I react like I do not want to accept that.

But I love it.

I am no longer an under graduate to the world.

I am an amateur writer now, a blogger.

I am seen as a person, who is living the dream.

And I don't want to hide, but admit that I am proud.

In the mean time,

I have found angels in people.

I have found that people will remain in my life, my family, no matter how terrible my decisions are.

I have found people, friends, who can make my bumpy ride funny,

I have found people who not only make but keep promises.

I have found that eventually some people will judge,

And I can accept that criticism,

Change myself for my own good if I really should or ignore them for the same reason. 

I have found the value of time.

I have found the value of belief.

I have found butterflies in the middle of thorny path,

I have found fragrance of flowers in the middle of emotional numbness. 
I have an identity now. 

I have found that dreams can eventually come true.

I have found a new start.

A success is not defined by how much money you earn.

It is defined by the amount of happiness experienced after doing the work.

And the self-urge it gives us to take up the responsibility of breaking the own achievement.

After posting every article,

There lies a sense of satisfaction.

After receiving a good or bad comment for my article,

There comes a sense of responsibility to develop in every way I can.

True that I don't succeed often.

But I try to develop after every step.

Now,

From the middle of nowhere,

I have got something what I longed to have,

What I waited for.

So true that it is going to be challenging to keep up between blogging and that.

But I know the value of a dream taking shape and an opportunity to make myself independent.

They are equally important in a person's life. 

It is the way to give a mutual back up to both the things.

And hence will hold on to them very tight.

I am not perfect, I will not be,

I am not the best, I will not be,

But I will never give up on trying to be one.

I promise to people who were there and supported me,

I will grow and make you proud, no matter what it takes from me,

And will be there with you through thick and thin,

To support and love the same way you did.

A note to people who left,

I am no longer worried about you.

Thanks, I can concentrate on who really cares.

Life teach lessons.

We, just, should have the patience to learn.

Rome was not built in a day.

So does human maturity.

I cannot say that I have got all of the maturity to handle the world right now.

But I can say it has evolved to some extent.

And this is just a start.

With hope,

In the pursuit of myself,

A human in the making, with the support of fellow humans, the world and the above,

Who are already great or deserve to be great in their own way.