The secret recipe of losing and finding you!

"Lose yourself in the crowd of infinity,
In the infinity of the universe!"

Away from the staring world,
Staring world that loves to criticize,
To criticize every action!

That feeling of insecurity,
Insecurity in the earth, that has become so small,
So shrunk that we can find anything about anyone, anywhere, anytime!

Is normal or has become normal!

But, oh my god!
I have found a safe haven,

A safe haven so near,
Yes, indeed a hiding place it is!
A hiding place that no one can find out,
Cannot find out in their one lifetime!

It is there!

There in your mother, who cares for you more than her own life!

There in the pride of your father, for even your silly achievements!

There in the laughter of your friend!

There in the eyes that love you!

It is also found,

There in the sun rays and in the moon light!

There in the darkness and in the raindrops! 

There in the snow and in the rock!

There in the soil, with the earthworm swirling and digging!

The haven is not so far!

It is there, every where!

It is there in you, for instance!

Explore!

Explore the love and affection,

Explore the nature and its beauty,

There you will be safe and secure!

A little away from the networks,

Networks, that make the world so small!

Let you be the first to switch it off and live life for real!

At least for few moments!

"Lose yourself in the crowd of infinity,
In the infinity of the universe!"

And will regain you,

From where you think you are lost!

And yes, I am single!

There comes this day!
A day of hearts and roses and love!

The good thing about every other special day (say for example, Mother's day or Father's day) is that, it will be so much of fun and pride to those who celebrate that day. And for the other group, its just another day.
But this day, Feb 14, is a total Scene Contra. It puts equal pressure on those who really want to celebrate it and those who does not.
If "How?" is the question that runs through your mind, I have an answer. A few possibilities may be. Let us first categorize the people and then move on to the possibilities of answer.
1. People who are single
2. People who are going to propose
3. People who are already in a relationship

*People who are single*

Even this one has sub divisions like,
a. Always single
b. Who were once in a relationship and then broke up to enter this first category

People in this division have an advantage of not spending too much money this day. They don't have to travel long distances or buy extravagant "useless" gifts (Sorry to say that way. But the gifts bought for this day, can be bought at very much lower price, 100% less cost on the other occasions and those gifts are no way useful). They have the freedom of going anywhere they wish and spend time with their best buddies.  Ouch! Here comes the difficulty. Here is where another scenario arises. What if the friend of this "single-status" person is committed?

They find a way to be alone or go along with these so-called-committed friend and get scoldings for not giving privacy during the great day! And they are forced by their inner heart to put a status in Social Networking sites stating "Proud to be single", like, they have never been single or that it would last forever or that all the other people are not proud of what they are.
Being single is a stressful and pressurizing job than the other categories though they save a lot of money this day.

*People who are going to propose*

This is kinda more dangerous job than the other two categories. They have to figure out how they are going to do their Proposal. From planning the attire that they are going to wear to place they can meet to the gifts that can be given with their money or from their friend's pocket, this seems to be the most costliest of the two or as competitive as to the third category. Because, they feel that this is the only day they can showcase their heart (Just an info: They have the same 24 hours all the other 364 days (in a non- leap year) or 365 ( in a leap year)) . They also have an opinion that it all depends on impression they make on this particular day, though they have met their to-be-proposed person 1000 times including the most embarrassing situations. Its stressful to explore and do-it-all correct at the first place, as this day is thought to be first of all. It also has some emotional impact, good or bad, based on the whether the relationship is going to be mutual or not. Hence this is proved to be challenging on its own fronts, emotional and economical way, to be precise!

*People who are in a relationship*

I have very less to comment on this category. Not because I do not know anything about this kind of people. But because, I feel sleepy. They are a combination of the first and the second. But explaining every sub-division in this category will stress me out and I don't have any intention of doing that to me. But. I should not leave this topic uncommented (A hypothetical antonym of the word "commented" to describe my state of mind).

 For people who come under this umbrella, has the freedom of reducing their *economic strains caused to their purses on this day (*Most of the time. We should always remember that there are exceptions everywhere). They also have the additional gain of smoothing out their relationship, which was kept in bay or was going through a rough weather for some "really stupid" reasons: a Patch-up-day, could be the right phrase. Or this day can be as horrible as Evil Dead (A good movie with horribly haunting ghosts), because we cannot guess about love. Its mad as a monkey. So, they also have good ton of stress to experience in many ways, only that we have "Terms and Conditions" here, which are not as stringent as in the first two categories.

Summing up, February 14, the Valentine's day or the Lover's day, has its impact on every single person in the world. Because, all the people fall under any of the three categories described above or I hope so. Neglecting all that you read before, Happy Valentine's day! No personal vengeance and if some people want to know where I fall among the three, I belong to 1a.

Disclaimer: If this article would cause a mental disturbance to any of my readers, I am sorry. You should bare with it. Because, this is how I feel. There might be generalizing facts. But, I have placed here the way I look at these three categories of people or the way I have been told.

Passion

How  you make your decisions!

Part-2

Passion

There is something special about this word. Yeah! You are right. Its the word that can be directly associated with love. 

In a conversation with a person who is from a research background in education (continuing his research even at the age of 80) quoted me that 

"You mean by passion!? 

'Emotions'- roughly a passion is an emotion strengthened.

 'Love' is an emotion but when you fall in love with someone/something to the point of ignoring everything else it becomes a passion'"

I found it quite right. I hope many can. Because if you take any dictionary, passion would be quoted as feeling or emotion over something or someone, that is so intense and leads to an outburst. Its root is from Old French and Late Latin. (Source: 

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com)

(Eh! People I see you smiling. You could already relate the word to the land of love) 

To the topic now...

How passion can impact any decisions taken by you?

I don't think I am a perfect person to answer that. But, I think I can score a 50/100 in this question. I pass. Hence, I wish to kill you with my answer. And I give you the right to kill me with your marks. 

I wasn't aware that I love writing. It was my personal ecstasy. I never felt anything special about this kind of communication. But, few things I found in me quite different from others were this

1. Whenever I felt down or extremely happy, I wrote. You can ask from when? It was from the age of 14. Yem! Its quite late for the people in this digital era. But, then it was my way of finding out what I wanted to do with my emotions in 'my era'.

2. That I have written two stories and 5 poems about things that really affected my conscience by the age of 17. That counts the works only in my diary. Many of my poems were in papers and it flew from one text book to another and I have had the experience of rescuing them even from the dustbins.

3. "Diaries weren't meant to be shared", my friends said to me. But then, I wanted people to look at my stories. I offered my personal diary (to clarify, it only had my favorite color and all that stuff a 14 year girl could have written) with all the poems and stories to know how they were. 

And finally, when I wasn't ready for anything else at one stage of life (probably, before 6 months), I was ready for this. Writing! Scribbling! and all that. And I think, I even surprise myself sometimes. When I look at what I have written in the past, I couldn't find myself writing it. 

It is not an easy task. When I write, I have the experience of crying in front of the screen of my laptop and wetting my keyboard (sometimes its my sister's laptop and I secretly wipe them out) . I have the experience of smiling and laughing for unknowing reasons, re-reading a single line thousand times, all that could qualify me to be in the list of mentally unstable people.

And that is when, it hit me hard. I was ready to quote and showcase myself crazy and mentally unstable for writing. Only that.

And here I am. 

In your mobile and laptop screens.

Through my words.

Through my passion, I live.

I did not decide it to be this way. But then, it happened. I do not relate my professional life with this kind of love. I love the job I do. But, this is different. This is where I can find and replicate my soul. 

Many people who answered my questions on passion said the same thing, "I do not know where my passion would take me. But, I will follow it". And most of them did not have it as their profession. So what? A person with passion will always live their life passionately, no matter how they earn their money! Its not about the money. Its about the heart.

One of my humble bestie told me that

(Well she earns a sum of money per month that I don't want to mention which everyone of our age die for and she is happier than anybody I know. She is the most passionate person I have ever seen.)

Another one quoted this to me,

Passion on something comes naturally. 
Like a mother's love to a child.
Passion is love, a form that is so unconditional! 
So pure.
And yes, it affects the decisions a lot. We will find a way. Just to pursue our dreams. Passion will drive us to do that, in every way it can. 
Like, a doctor working as an RJ at weekends.
Like, an engineer participating in lake clean-ups every week.
Like, some part of you becoming some other part and it just feels almost yourself.

Passion is life. Burn yourself until you find your ashes burn again for your passion. And it will craft you and your decisions automatically into something you have never imagined to be and that is what even my survey showed. 

[I think I really passed answering the question "How passion can impact any decisions taken by you?"]


Thanks to +Abinaya Govindarajan , +Nandhagiridharan.ng@gmail.com , +Vivek Anand  for answering my questions I asked. You guys are awesome and thanks to all those who filled the survey 3 months before. 

I think I have to talk about Passion more on the perspective of people who have grown old with it. Will see. At least through the quotes from them. Stay reading!

Dreams!

How you make your decisions?

Part 2 

Dreams
Dreams occurs in the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) part of the sleep and this part of sleep that leads to a dream certainly improves three types of memory: procedural, spatial and emotional. It is considered to be one of the essential parts of sleeping stages and it improves creativity too. It is stated that the REM deprivation would affect the factual memory and increase depression. This eventually means that dreams are an important part of our psychological life.

Recently I saw a video on How we ignore the mental healthiness, a TED talk of course (I love them), in which I could get one perfect message for this generation Y- We should practice mental healthiness as seriously as physical healthiness and fitness. 
So how would we relate this to dreams?
Yes, after reading the last two paragraphs, you should have come to a conclusion that, for mental wellness, dreams are an essential part. 
And yeah! You are right.
My readers are brilliant. I know that guys.
But then, after placing all the information as far as I read from other websites (which is the most difficult part of this article), I want to agree that dreams are more closer to our heart and mind  (மனசு in Tamil) in different ways. For now, forget the brain. Let's talk about the heart and the mind.

Dreams are the most precious part of any person's sleep. Oh! Yeah, I am sorry. I forgot the night mares and the sleep paralysis. But then, in my view, its always the expression of our subconscious mind. 

Staying in a hostel and sleeping with your room mates and sometimes with your friends from other rooms, you should have a brave heart to wake up in the mid night to drink some water. Because, people tend to dream and in that process, they talk or shout in the middle and you can get paralyzed waking up to that incoherent sound, the worst trying to get a glass of water in half-sleep  and suddenly they shout LaKa..LaKa..LaKa (After seeing Chandarmuki I seem to think that way). You feel like being with Anabella doll from Conjuring and the dresses start floating(It was for a long time, but you always misinterpret in half-sleep). And of course the good part is, you can always tease your friend if they say their boy friend's name. But, think about how Nithradevi would betray you after that sudden bump in the midnight. You should wait to tease till the dawn breaks, trying to wake someone else in the mean time. That's the terrible part.

[Okay! Don't sleep in the middle of this article. Anabella will come and haunt you in your dreams.] 

Personal experiences with dreams have deeply imprinted in me the idea that dreams are the expressions of your subconscious mind as I said before.

I have dreamed of my death. I was taught how to behave like a ghost in that dream by my school teacher. Wow! The feel was amazing. That freedom you get when there is nothing to worry about in life. I flew high into the endless sky and glided in the air to my home to see if my mom was crying over my loss and was happy to see her crying. (after waking I felt how silly I was, even in a dream.)

I have dreamed of my dead friend. She has always been there during my school days in my dreams. After few encounters with her in my dream (though the first one was scary), I was convinced that whenever she came in my dream, something good happened the next day.

I have dreamed the end of the earth just as in 2012 (may be I was seeing that movie that day) and the good thing was nothing happened to me and my family. But, seeing the world tumble in front of you is not a good feel at all.

I have dreamed of walking with my dream man, only to my little mind, his face was not visible.

I have dreamed of more beautiful college days, which was obviously less funnier than what I wanted it to be.

There have been dreams of longing and terror (the nightmares and sleep paralysis- this tops in the frequency) and disaster. There have been dreams of showing-off to the one who mocked me. 

Believe it or not, I got a dream three weeks back about getting my Date Of Joining from the company I longed to join and the next day I got it. May be, it was a mere coincidence. But, I believe in my dreams. I believe that its a message my heart tries to tell me.  I try to comprehend what my mind tries to say me and many times it says what I want to hear. I have lived because I have survived all my dreams.

If you can dream about getting something, then you have the capability to make it happen too. (My version of a quote I read once, probably the one below). 

Sometimes, dreams can be in a sleep i.e, from the subconscious level. Some times, it's reaches the conscious level too. This drives us to do things, that no one would have thought we were capable of. Bringing a dream from the subconscious level (from the deep heart and mind) to the conscious level where we can execute to live it, creates a successful person in our own world. Many of my stories in this blog were from this conscious level of dreaming. (I don't mean to say I am successful, but then I consider the completion of every post here to be a success. It's not easy to comprehend all my dreams. But I love doing it and I try.)

Dreams differ from people to people, both at conscious and unconscious level. The happiness, love, success, freedom, terror, longing and sadness and every emotion and feeling you know, intensifies in a dream and at different proportions for different people. And a person who could follow those intensified emotions from his heart and mind and direct himself in the right way, would eventually succeed. 

You never fail. A dream lived or tried itself is a success achieved. But, you just betray your dreams when you don't follow them. And betrayal hurts the most.

Dreams are like babies. You are it's parent. True that parents make mistakes. To err is human. But they never betray their baby. They try to give their best to them. So, what about you?

PS: The article about Passion would be the next. Stay reading.

Here is another inspiring TED talk on 5 ways to kill your dreams! If you have read this long, take 6 minutes of your time to watch this. Its worth it.

How you make your decisions?

Part-1

How important is decision making in one's life?

Decisions are made in every second of our life.
If you don't believe, let me tell you:
Waking up in the morning, you decide to exercise or to walk or to sleep a little long.
To take you coffee or your lemonade!
To read The Hindu or The Indian Express!
To cook or to eat outside!
To wear a blue color dress or a red one!
To fight with you friend for a mistake or to forgive them!

There are lots of examples like this. Decisions help us run the day smoothly, at least with less damage. But sometimes decisions are not just about a coffee and lemonade or The Hindu and The Indian Express. They are big and those decisions eventually shape our life. They are not jokes or pranks. But real, though intangible. Some are really difficult to take. Some decisions once made can be reviewed and changed later. But many times, life decisions made once, takes away the power from most of the people to do so.

Like if you have seen old Tamil movies, where the hero would be the law maker for a small village or group of people. His way of giving justice would be cruel and against law, literally by killing the 'one who  makes mistake'. The heroine would come and ask him to leave all the things he were doing to marry her and he would say a dialogue, "I chose this myself. I cannot back off now. Not from this."
The heroine would say, "How can I live with a man, who has no guarantee for his own life?"
The hero would say, "Even if I leave it now, I will be dead. I cannot leave. I will not. After all these years, my life or death does not matter. But these people matter to me.  So, you make your own decision, to live with me or to leave."

Decisions are sometimes like that. Yeah! Even though the above conversation can bring a bit of boredom or make you think kinda, "Do I have to read you article to know that?", the message conveyed is very strong. You cannot revert that was decided by you once and sometimes even the forced, especially the most critical ones like your career and studies.

In this way decisions are very important in one's life.

Next post- Dreams and passions.
Stay reading!

In the pursuit of myself!!!

Life is not full of butterflies and flowers.

Yes. It is not.

But the way you see the thorns and bumps also makes a difference.

You cannot walk on the thorns. Sure you cannot.

And you cannot go smoothly in a bump. No you cannot.

But you can always change the perspective,

With hope, yes you can.

After my last exams of undergraduate,

I had choices.

I had enough of it than anyone else.

I chose to not to choose hastily.

I waited, I tried new possibilities.

It was one good day,

I was suggested to do what I loved.

It was a friend, a well wisher,

And a person who gives a constant source of encouragement,

Okay, a good combination of all.

I thought I had my calling. Yes, it was. 

But, it was not easy.

I had bad times,

But it was less than anybody's, who did not have anything to choose.

I gave up one of the opportunity to become independent,
And I was scrutinized by more and most people.

I went to a state of depression.

I had to walk on thorns sometimes,

I never stopped.

So were some of my friends, going through the same phase of their life.

To remind me that I was not alone in the bizarre bumpy ride.

I was inspired by the optimism and hope they had.

Knowingly or unknowingly they shared it with me.

Thanks to them, their presence has made me who I am today.

I find solace in here.

A thing I love the most.

I had a different experience in all.

I am now identified as a person who can convey the thoughts reasonably well,

Through a medium called writing.

Some of my friends call me with a writers name I admire.

And I react like I do not want to accept that.

But I love it.

I am no longer an under graduate to the world.

I am an amateur writer now, a blogger.

I am seen as a person, who is living the dream.

And I don't want to hide, but admit that I am proud.

In the mean time,

I have found angels in people.

I have found that people will remain in my life, my family, no matter how terrible my decisions are.

I have found people, friends, who can make my bumpy ride funny,

I have found people who not only make but keep promises.

I have found that eventually some people will judge,

And I can accept that criticism,

Change myself for my own good if I really should or ignore them for the same reason. 

I have found the value of time.

I have found the value of belief.

I have found butterflies in the middle of thorny path,

I have found fragrance of flowers in the middle of emotional numbness. 
I have an identity now. 

I have found that dreams can eventually come true.

I have found a new start.

A success is not defined by how much money you earn.

It is defined by the amount of happiness experienced after doing the work.

And the self-urge it gives us to take up the responsibility of breaking the own achievement.

After posting every article,

There lies a sense of satisfaction.

After receiving a good or bad comment for my article,

There comes a sense of responsibility to develop in every way I can.

True that I don't succeed often.

But I try to develop after every step.

Now,

From the middle of nowhere,

I have got something what I longed to have,

What I waited for.

So true that it is going to be challenging to keep up between blogging and that.

But I know the value of a dream taking shape and an opportunity to make myself independent.

They are equally important in a person's life. 

It is the way to give a mutual back up to both the things.

And hence will hold on to them very tight.

I am not perfect, I will not be,

I am not the best, I will not be,

But I will never give up on trying to be one.

I promise to people who were there and supported me,

I will grow and make you proud, no matter what it takes from me,

And will be there with you through thick and thin,

To support and love the same way you did.

A note to people who left,

I am no longer worried about you.

Thanks, I can concentrate on who really cares.

Life teach lessons.

We, just, should have the patience to learn.

Rome was not built in a day.

So does human maturity.

I cannot say that I have got all of the maturity to handle the world right now.

But I can say it has evolved to some extent.

And this is just a start.

With hope,

In the pursuit of myself,

A human in the making, with the support of fellow humans, the world and the above,

Who are already great or deserve to be great in their own way.