Decoding the myth word mother-in-law!

Well, what pops up in your head, when hear the word, mother-in-law?

The inherent Indian will opt to those never ending Sass-Bahu soaps in Televisions. The word unquestionably runs a shiver through the spine of both men and women. Men, because, they don’t understand how the hell something goes wrong between his wife and Maa, when everything is going fine in the entire house. And women because, they are “well educated” (That’s sarcasm, for your information) with these soaps in all the languages.

When there is a relationship, there are going to be problems, no matter what! Don’t we see our Mom and Dad fight like India and Pakistan and then find them the next day, praising each other like nothing has ever happened in their life. The issue goes viral, when it is between a Daughter-in-Law and a Mother-in-Law.

When mom and dad fight, it’s their children, who are going to be the Panchayat presidents, and obviously, no power is given to them. They just stand supporting one group and the next day, they are handled like fools. But, when there is a mismatch in frequency between the In-laws, it’s going to be two different families. The Saas and the Bahu family! Which is kinda dangerous! The mother-in-law position is the most delicate position in this entire universe. They want their son to be happy and they cannot accept that there is someone other than them, who is going to give that to their son. Possessiveness and obsession are common in love! Especially in too much love!

When there is going to be a power struggle in the house, the best way to deal with it is staying calm, for both the parties. If it’s going to go beyond the walls of the house, it would be difficult to settle the issue as someone would remember something else that happened in the past and it would become “I-Don’t-Know-What-I-Am-Fighting-For” problem. A reasonable talk after few hours or a few days of the misunderstanding will do. So, if you ask me where to vent out all the resentment till that time, don’t act like a child. You are married (Or you will be). You have a partner to torture!   :-p

This would reduce the friction and if you really love your partner, you are not going to make him feel bad for what their mom did and waste time over that. If the mistake is on your side, taking time will help in accepting that. Acting mature is equally frustrating as giving a speech to the “I-Don’t-care-What-You-Are-Talking” crowd. But, don’t think of escaping it. If you are the bad one, accept and don’t do it again.

Most Mothers-in-law, these days, are well educated and office going or well informed of the job difficulties that every woman undergoes. Because, you know what? All people work late night and some just at night which includes her son and daughter and in some good cases, themselves. This has made them soften their move towards the office going Bahu! And sometimes, the most suffered in-laws, never disturb you with obsession or other silly problems, because they know how childish it is to think of grabbing a place that would never be caught, no matter how hard she fights. Yes, being a wife is a promise you give to some one saying “I will endure you until death do that part for me” and that is the greatest promise you can give someone. And these days, In-laws too understand that! Good sign!

How do you feel when your sister/friend takes your “forever-favorite” dress and at the end of the day you find that she has poured the “Never-will-go-sauce” in it? Horrible, right? If you could develop this much attachment to a dress, how could you expect you mother-in-law, not to get agitated at your silly mistakes you do to your husband? She would think that you are ruining the most beautiful thing she has ever brought to this world with your cooking and every stuff you do to him. If you see it this way, it would be so funny. Isn’t it? As long as your husband can endure your everything, you are good to go. It is not that difficult.

As long as you are good, nothing bad can happen to you! One day, you will find out, you are not loving your husband enough. That day, you will remember your mother-in-law. That day will be the day, when you get your baby in your hand.

Take a deep breath! You are not alone in this big world! Be happy! That there is someone to compensate the love you are not going to give your husband! The man who would be your forever person, created by a woman’s love. And you know what? Thank your mother-in-law for creating the man of your dreams. If not her, your dream man would have been in your dream alone.

And yes, I am single!

There comes this day!
A day of hearts and roses and love!

The good thing about every other special day (say for example, Mother's day or Father's day) is that, it will be so much of fun and pride to those who celebrate that day. And for the other group, its just another day.
But this day, Feb 14, is a total Scene Contra. It puts equal pressure on those who really want to celebrate it and those who does not.
If "How?" is the question that runs through your mind, I have an answer. A few possibilities may be. Let us first categorize the people and then move on to the possibilities of answer.
1. People who are single
2. People who are going to propose
3. People who are already in a relationship

*People who are single*

Even this one has sub divisions like,
a. Always single
b. Who were once in a relationship and then broke up to enter this first category

People in this division have an advantage of not spending too much money this day. They don't have to travel long distances or buy extravagant "useless" gifts (Sorry to say that way. But the gifts bought for this day, can be bought at very much lower price, 100% less cost on the other occasions and those gifts are no way useful). They have the freedom of going anywhere they wish and spend time with their best buddies.  Ouch! Here comes the difficulty. Here is where another scenario arises. What if the friend of this "single-status" person is committed?

They find a way to be alone or go along with these so-called-committed friend and get scoldings for not giving privacy during the great day! And they are forced by their inner heart to put a status in Social Networking sites stating "Proud to be single", like, they have never been single or that it would last forever or that all the other people are not proud of what they are.
Being single is a stressful and pressurizing job than the other categories though they save a lot of money this day.

*People who are going to propose*

This is kinda more dangerous job than the other two categories. They have to figure out how they are going to do their Proposal. From planning the attire that they are going to wear to place they can meet to the gifts that can be given with their money or from their friend's pocket, this seems to be the most costliest of the two or as competitive as to the third category. Because, they feel that this is the only day they can showcase their heart (Just an info: They have the same 24 hours all the other 364 days (in a non- leap year) or 365 ( in a leap year)) . They also have an opinion that it all depends on impression they make on this particular day, though they have met their to-be-proposed person 1000 times including the most embarrassing situations. Its stressful to explore and do-it-all correct at the first place, as this day is thought to be first of all. It also has some emotional impact, good or bad, based on the whether the relationship is going to be mutual or not. Hence this is proved to be challenging on its own fronts, emotional and economical way, to be precise!

*People who are in a relationship*

I have very less to comment on this category. Not because I do not know anything about this kind of people. But because, I feel sleepy. They are a combination of the first and the second. But explaining every sub-division in this category will stress me out and I don't have any intention of doing that to me. But. I should not leave this topic uncommented (A hypothetical antonym of the word "commented" to describe my state of mind).

 For people who come under this umbrella, has the freedom of reducing their *economic strains caused to their purses on this day (*Most of the time. We should always remember that there are exceptions everywhere). They also have the additional gain of smoothing out their relationship, which was kept in bay or was going through a rough weather for some "really stupid" reasons: a Patch-up-day, could be the right phrase. Or this day can be as horrible as Evil Dead (A good movie with horribly haunting ghosts), because we cannot guess about love. Its mad as a monkey. So, they also have good ton of stress to experience in many ways, only that we have "Terms and Conditions" here, which are not as stringent as in the first two categories.

Summing up, February 14, the Valentine's day or the Lover's day, has its impact on every single person in the world. Because, all the people fall under any of the three categories described above or I hope so. Neglecting all that you read before, Happy Valentine's day! No personal vengeance and if some people want to know where I fall among the three, I belong to 1a.

Disclaimer: If this article would cause a mental disturbance to any of my readers, I am sorry. You should bare with it. Because, this is how I feel. There might be generalizing facts. But, I have placed here the way I look at these three categories of people or the way I have been told.

To the love of humanity!!!

Peace lost,
A city of love once, turned into city of terror,
Ruined by suicide bombers and gun men.

As they attacked,
They shouted the name of a God,
He, who would never love this kind of war.

As they attacked,
They shouted the name of a country,
From where the people fled searching across seas and oceans for food and life,
For a life of peace.

In the stadium that held the foot ball match,
There lies a body of a dad doomed,
Who wanted his son badly to play the game like those players.

In the hall that held the concert,
There was a mom,
Who wanted her children just to have a happy life.

In the restaurants,
Sitting there were families and couples,
Who wanted say to the other that they loved each other so much,
Some would have wanted to patch-up,
Some would have wanted to break-up.
There would have been business meetings too.

Everything has become nothing,
Nothing at all,
In few seconds of hate,
Everything changed.
People with love and emotions were turned to blood and flesh.

They call it a pure war,
They call it a fight for their nation,
They call it a fight for Him.
Really??

In the epic Mahabaratha,
There is a character called Karna,
He was celebrated as a man of generosity,
A man of courage and success,
A hero of the era,
But he fought against the Truth,
He fought for his friendship which was true, 
But he lost the war.
A man who could have never been defeated was killed,
And everything from him was taken away,
For he was against Truth and human values,
For his success was stained by the blood of the innocent warrior and the sanity of the woman.

The same would be the fate of Terrorism,
They fight for a cause,
But will never win,
For they have against them, the love of every people,
Who want to live with nothing but peace.

It is not Paris,
It is not Mumbai,
It is not Newyork,
It is not Pakistan neither Bangladesh nor Syria nor Egypt,
They are against the love of humanity.
They will learn their lesson.
Sooner or later.

Let us stand together,
Let us get connected by love,
Let us learn to tell people what we want them to know from us this moment,
For no one have the assurance that we will live the next moment.
Let love and truth win.

Unknown and Unnoticed

The little baby was named!
He blabbered like every other child of his age,
He loved his mother,
He loved the comfort she gave in her lap,
He loved the warmth of her heart when she held him near her breast.
He grew and he loved her more.

At the one end of the world was his father,
Toiling day and night,
He rose early, worked late hours,
And came home once in a while with the best toys in the world.
He was welcomed every time, for he bought with him the wonderful cars and helicopters.
Little the world knew what he had sacrificed,
Little that his wife knew what he was doing at office,
Little that his son knew how much hours of sleep he lost to get those stuffs.

Days passed.
The little boy once he was, turned into a big boy, not very big though,
His mother gave birth to his sibling,
And it was a beautiful girl, beautiful because she was a girl.

The boy loved his little sister,
For he was able to hold her in his arms,
For she smiled at him every time he played with her,
She grew with him.
He promised to protect her, no matter what!
They fought, they laughed,

She cried and he would always give up,
For he loved her smile more than her tears,
He took hours to make sure she had the best.

Big boy he was,
His enjoyments widened,
His pleasures granted,
And he loved his mom and sissy more than before.

He grew up and found that he had a passion,
His mom and sissy had plans,
Passion was costly and plans were big,
He always wanted to give the best for them,
So passion was buried and plans were given priority.

He loved them more,
But respected his father more than all the years of love he gave to mom and sissy,
For now he knew what it takes really to be a man,
For he really knew how every second of a man's life goes,
His sacrifices and toils,
Unknown and unnoticed!!!

நண்பன்

நண்பன்

யுகங்கள் பல கடந்தாலும்,
கடலின் அலை போல,
நில்லாமல் உணரப்படும் என் எண்ணங்களின் வாய்கால் நீ!!!

நிறையாத வானம் தன்னை
நட்சத்திரங்களால் அலங்கரித்துக்கொள்ளும்;
நிறைந்த என் உள்ளம் உன்
வார்த்தைகளின் சாரத்தில்!!!

என் பயங்களும், நிறைவேறாத கனவுகளும்
உன் மனம் எனும் சாவி இல்லாப் பெட்டியினுள்!!!

இருவேறு கற்பனை உலகங்கள் நமக்கு,
ஆனால் அவைகளை பின்னிப் பிணைக்கிறது
நம் நட்பு எனும் உறவு!!!

இப்போது கட்டபட்டிருக்கும் அந்த கற்பனை மாளிகையில்
பூசப்பட்டிருகும் நம் நட்பின் வண்ணம்,
புயலிலும் வெயிலிலும் இடியிலும் மழையிலும்
அழியாத கண்ணியம்!!!!

தங்கை

தங்கை 

அலையும் கரையும் போன்றது 

சொந்தம் எனும் சுவை இது!!!

புரியாத வயதில் கிடைத்த உறவை 

சில நாள் பிரிந்த பின்பு புரிந்தது,

உயிர் தோழி எனும் உண்மை!!!

என் இன்பங்கள் அனைத்தும் 

உன் சிரிப்பின் பிம்பங்கள்;

என் துன்பங்கள் அனைத்தும் 

உன் மனதில் கடிதங்கள்.

சிறு வயதில் 

பசியென்று சொல்லதெரியாமல்,

கண்ணீராய் கரைந்திடுவாய்.

இப்போது 

பயமென்று பிறர் சொல்லிக் கேட்டாலும்,

அதனை சூத்திரமாய் வென்றிடுவாய்.

அனைவரும் வியக்கும் உன் உறுதி;

தமக்கையாய் நான் கொள்ளும் பெருமை.

பொறாமை பொறி தட்டும் 

பிறர் வெற்றி கண்டால்!!!

என் கைகளும் தானாய்த் தட்டும் 

அவை உனக்கு சொந்தமென்றால்!!!